I Am What I Am Not

I have been tagged by Kell.

I AM: disorganised. No matter how early I get up in the morning, I always end up rushing around at the last minute, usually looking for something which has invariably walked from the last place it was seen in: keys, purse, Daisy's pre-school bag...

I WANT: the rain to stop!

I WISH: I was thinner, younger, more organised! Hmmm... I've actually got control over two of those. Time to start cracking the whip, I think!

I HATE: cruelty and injustice.

I MISS: my girlfriends. Although I have a number of friends and numerous aquaintances in Leicestershire, I miss the closeness of the friends I grew up with and those I met at university. I miss having a best friend who I can talk to about anything and who I know will stand by me, no matter what.

I FEAR: dying whilst my children are still young; my children and those I love getting ill or seriously hurt in any way.

I HEAR: CBeebies and Daisy singing along.

I WONDER: what I'll do with my life once Daisy is at school. At the moment I work part-time, in a job I don't really like. It might be time to make a positive career move.

I REGRET: listening to the Careers Advisor at school and studying Business Studies instead of doing an English degree.

I AM NOT: a morning person. I begin to feel human by about 9.30 am.

I DANCE: whilst washing up, listening to the radio. George and Daisy often join in.

I SING: loudly in my car. I'm one of those people you see at traffic lights, getting slightly carried away!

I CRY: far more easily than I used to. Although having children has made me stronger in lots of ways, my emotions seem much closer to the surface.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: very tolerant. I don't suffer fools gladly.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: a pretty mean pizza. There's something very therapeutic about kneading and stretching dough.

I WRITE: shopping lists on a whiteboard in the kitchen. the general opinion on my handwriting is that it looks good but is difficult to read; something my students used to constantly moan about when I was teaching.

I CONFUSE: myself, trying to remember everything. I have a perfectly good diary and wallplanner but rather than using them, I constantly juggle things in my head.

I NEED: eight hours sleep to feel fully refreshed but rarely get it.

I SHOULD: go to bed earlier.

I START: my day with a strong cup of coffee, usually made for me by Cam.

I FINISH: Daisy's left over cheese on toast. It's a terrible habit and I don't do it with anything else but I can rarely resist cheese on toast.

I tag CatGirl, Curly K and Serendipity.


I Am What I Am Not - Idlewild (The Remote Part, 2003)

Time Passes...

It's a common complaint, I know, but I rarely seem to have enough time. I'm not greedy - a couple of extra hours each day would suit me. Just enough to let me do everything I need/want to do and still get enough sleep at night. This year is marching by at breakneck speed - days and even whole weeks just slipping by. The demands of three children, home and work are never-ending and I sometimes feel like I'm swimming against the tide, barely keeping my head above water.

I've had more than a few evenings out over the last few weeks, and though I love to get out and see bands, socialise with friends and generally feel like I'm still me and not just a mum, wife or whatever, I have been burning the candle at both ends. If you hadn't already guessed, I'm feeling tired and slightly sorry for myself at the moment! Things haven't been helped by the fact that, at the end of last week, whilst rushing to leave the house to collect Daisy from pre-school, I slipped on a toy which had been discarded on the top step and crashed down the stairs from top to bottom, grazing and bruising my back and aggravating an old ankle injury. I'm sure I'll begin to feel better soon. I have nothing major planned for the rest of the week and I'm hoping that a few quiet days and - hopefully - some sunshine should sort me out. Not to mention the fact Big Brother 7 starts this week. Only two days to go! Ok, I admit it: My name is Julie and I'm a Big Brother addict. It's been several months now since I last indulged...


Time Passes... - Paul Weller (Stanley Road, 1995)

T Plays It Cool

This is a game courtesy of Serendipity. Ten things beginning with a particular letter of the alphabet which relate to me and my life in some way. Serendipity has given me the letter T. It's a tad more tricky than it sounds, so some of the ten are slightly tenuous:

1. Teacher - In my former life (pre-children) I was a teacher of Business Studies and Economics in a sixth form college. I loved teaching and have thought about returning to it once Daisy is at school. Unfortunately, I'm slightly put off by my subject specialism which no longer holds much interest for me. I'd love to teach English or Primary school but as my degree was in Business Studies and Politics, I'd need to do some kind of retraining.
   
   
2. Trains - I think I've mentioned previously that I love travelling by train. (OK, hands up everyone who's now visualising me as some kind of anorak-clad nerd with a notebook!) When I was a child, my grandparents lived in Anglesey, North Wales and several times a year we'd make the long journey to see them. We'd travel to Sheffield by bus, get a train to Manchester Piccadilly station, a shuttle bus to Manchester Victoria and then catch the 10 pm boat train to Holyhead.
   
   The trains were almost always the old-fashioned type, with a long corridor running the length of each carriage and individual compartments of six seats. I was inevitably too excited to sleep and spent the journey reading, munching sandwiches (Mum always packed enough for a small army!), and checking the progress of our journey as we passed each station. The train stopped at Warrington Bank Quay and Chester before snaking its way round the North Wales coastline: Prestatyn, Rhyl, Abergele and Pensarn, Colwyn Bay, Llandudno Junction, Penmaenmawr, Llanfairfechan, Bangor and finally, at somewhere around 2 am, we'd arrive in Holyhead and walk, luggage in hand, to my grandparents' house.
   
   The return journey was usually made in daylight and, despite the fact that I then had a view through the window, it was nowhere near as thrilling as travelling through the night, when I'd normally be tucked up in bed.
   
   
3. Travel - There are so many places in the world I would like to see that I slightly regret the fact that I didn't do more travelling when I only had myself to worry about. I never had any mad back packing adventures or exotic long haul holidays. Travel is definitely on my medium to long term To Do list.
   
   
4. Trearddur Bay - Trearddur Bay on the Isle of Anglesey is one of my favourite British seaside resorts. Gloriously uncommercialised, even at the height of summer, it has a fabulous sweep of golden sand which is just perfect for building sandcastles. When I was very young (until ill-health forced a move into Holyhead) my grandparents lived just down the road from Trearddur Bay, off the beaten track in a picturesque old cottage. The nearest shop was in the bay and we'd walk the mile or so up the road each day to buy bread and milk.
   
   
5. Talk - Anyone who knows me well will vouch for the fact that I like to talk! During my schooldays I was constantly in trouble for chattering and even now, at work, I find it all too easy to waste time in conversation with my colleagues rather than getting on with the task in hand.
   
   
6. Telephone - Telephones are linked, naturally, to my love of talking but phone conversations are also a large part of my current job... (Edited to remove material which may be deemed sensitive.)
   
   
7. Two Tribes - When I tried to think of a 'T' related song with an associated memory, this was the first one that came to mind so I thought I'd go with it. Every time I hear this song, I'm transported straight back to 1984 and the summer I was 17. In particular, the song reminds me of driving over the North Yorkshire Moors, with P, my boyfriend at the time, on our way to spend a weekend with his family in Sandsend, near Whitby. It was a balmy June evening, all the windows of the car were wound down and, as we drove along the winding road, past the weird "golf balls" of RAF Fylingdales, Two Tribes played at full volume on the car's stereo. It seemed strangely prophetic and, despite the warmth of the evening, I felt an undeniable cold shiver run down my spine.
   
   
   
   Two Tribes - Frankie Goes To Hollywood (Welcome To the Pleasuredome, 1984)
   
   
8. Tranquillity Tea - I've never been a fan of traditional tea but, conscious of the fact that I drink far too much caffeine, in recent years I've began to replace some of my daily cups of coffee with herbal tea. Amongst the herbal teas I've tried, Dr Stuart's Tranquillity Tea deserves a particular mention. A couple of cups and you begin to get a definite feeling of drowsy well-being. It must be pretty potent stuff as there's a warning on the packet not to drink more than four cups a day!
   
   
9. Temper - It's not something I'm proud of but, when provoked, I have an incredibly bad temper. People who don't know me very well are usually surprised when they discover this aspect of my character; on the surface I appear quite laid back. I have a fairly long fuse but when it's burnt out, I am not a pleasant person to be around...
   
   
10. Tipsy - I love the word tipsy. It has a peculiarly quaint ring to it which somehow appeals to me. I also love feeling tipsy. Not drunk. I hate feeling that I'm losing control, that my world is spinning and - more than likely - I'm going to be ill. But tipsy is good. Tipsy is the warm glow of knowing everything's all right in your world, feeling that everyone's on your side; you're invincible and life is good.

T Plays It Cool - Marvin Gaye (Chilled Ibiza 3, 2002)

Accident Waiting To Happen

Clumsy, accident prone, downright careless. Whatever label you choose to put on it, that's me. If something can be knocked over, spilt or dropped, then you can count on me to do it. I'm the person who'll visit your home and spill a glass - a full glass, naturally - of red wine all over your newly acquired oatmeal carpet. You'll say it doesn't matter, of course, but we'll both know that it does. And every time I visit you and see the slightly pink shadow of a stain, now hidden under an occasional table, it'll be another reminder of my innate clumsiness.

How I'd love to be one of those people who leave the house looking immaculate and return several hours later with barely a hair out of place. I may look presentable when I walk out of the door, but you can guarantee I won't stay that way for long. There's a conspiracy afoot to ensure that something will go wrong. I'll be that person walking too near the edge of the kerb on a wet day, when puddles have formed at the side of the road; the unsuspecting soul who steps right into the large and squelchy dog turd, cunningly hidden under a pile of leaves. Beginning to get the picture?

External influences are one thing, but I'm more than capable of sabotaging my appearance quite independently. There's many a day when, wearing a dark coloured top, I'll glance down, only to realise with a sinking heart that - yet again - my breast region is speckled with an interesting array of tiny white dots. The tooth brushing monster strikes again! My most memorable act of self-sabotage happened many years ago during my industrial placement from university. Part of my role during the year involved arranging work experience placements for local school children. So, there I was one afternoon, sitting at my desk, enjoying a cup of coffee, when the Receptionist called to let me know that a teacher had arrived to visit his students on placement. I jumped up, only to send my coffee flying all down the front of my dress (as I recall, a light-coloured linen number with tasteful black and red splodges and, more than likely, shoulder pads too; all very fashionable at the time - honestly!). I was quite literally drenched in coffee - dripping, even. Dabbing at my dress in the Ladies had virtually zero impact and I was left with no option other than to put on my jacket (covering only a fraction of the stain) and to stride out with my head held high...

The very worst thing about my dirt-magnet qualities is that they appear to be genetic. It's evidently a dominant gene too - each of my children has inherited it. Every day my boys come out of school, liberally coated in mud; even on the driest day we've had for weeks. A few days ago, I was sorting out the laundry and thought for one dreadful minute that George had fallen victim to a virulent attack of diarrhoea and was too embarrassed to tell me. I was quite relieved to realise it was only mud. He'd evidently been doing more than the average amount of wallowing that day and it had gone right through to his underwear! I did think for a while that Daisy might have escaped the curse but it seems to have claimed another victim:

I go to collect Daisy from pre-school, her t-shirt is generously smeared in red and orange paint:

Daisy: Mummy, I got paint on my Charlie and Lola t-shirt.

Julie: Never mind Poppet, it'll wash. Can I see your painting?

Daisy: I didn't do one today.

Arrrrgggghhhhh!!!!


Accident Waiting To Happen - Billy Bragg (Don't Try This At Home, 1991)

Back To The Old House

Monday morning and time to head off up the M1 to see my children. I can't wait to see the three of them again; I really have missed them these last few days. I'm staying with my parents until the weekend so won't be around for a while.

Normal service will resume some time after Friday....


Back To the Old House - The Smiths (Hatful of Hollow, 1983)

All Alone

It's so incredibly quiet here today - even with the radio burbling away in the background. Were it not for the fact that all reasonable intelligence would suggest that I am, indisputably, sitting in my own house, at my own desk, I may begin to consider the possibility that I have been abducted by aliens and dropped in the barren wilderness of Planet Hush. Today my house contains no children.

Joe, George and Daisy are staying with Granny and Grandad in Barnsley for a few days, getting spoiled rotten and being allowed to do all manner of things that my parents would never have considered letting me do when I was a child. I'm relishing the time on my own: the opportunity to use my PC for more than ten minutes without one of the boys begging to use it, being able to go to the bathroom without a little voice shouting, "Mummy, where are you?" and the knowledge that tomorrow I can stay in bed for as long as I like. You can bet, though, that by tomorrow evening I'll be missing them like you wouldn't imagine...

Whilst I'm here, a brief mention about the titles of my posts. When I started writing this blog, I decided that each entry would be given the title of a song from my music collection. It seemed like a good idea at the time but I've subsequently discovered that finding a song title that also relates loosely to what I'm writing about is not always as easy as it sounds. Anyway, I'm no quitter; having started this little game, I will continue. I've decided to go back and edit my posts to include details of the song. I've also changed the title of my last post from Memory Lane (McFly, Wonderland) to Remember Me - it seems to fit the post better and the McFly album belongs to Joe so is not technically part of my music collection!

After the wettest, greyest, most dismal morning you could possibly imagine, it's finally stopped raining. I do believe there may even be a glimmer of sunshine! I'm beginning to get quite excited about going to see Corinne Bailey Rae this evening; even more so now there's a possibility I may manage to make it to the venue without resembling some bizarre species of drowned rodent...


All Alone - Gorillaz (Demon Days, 2005)